Loneliness

Sometimes I feel like I can't relate to anybody. I feel like I am missing a huge part of life - a part that 99.9% of people have experienced. I can't help thinking about things lately. There is no escaping the fact the I am completely unhappy. There is a huge void in my life and it's leaving a hole so immense and so permanent that it scares me. My future seems so hopeless, I really don't enjoy anything anymore. I feel like I am trapped in a desolate well with no light. I have not much else to say. I hate missing somebody more than they miss me. I staid alone for a few days last weekend.... i hate leaving when i'm there. I have a hate/love relationships with my days off. I love them at the beginning but hate them at the end. as they days go on I start to think about my life to much and i get really sad. a sadness so deep i wish it on no one, i can't describe the empty pain that starts to take over me. but it doesnt get to me as much if i keep busy. I have no idea what i want to do with my life because i can't think of anything that would make me happy. music? yeah right, what a false hope. everything seems so played out and faded. i see the beauty in life, but i also see all of beauty's pain. i just want to be happy. I wish something would come and electrify me back to life. make me smile. make my eyes light up. make me happy. please, make my happy.