Who???

For the first time in my adult life I feel like life is good. Even though I have been through some really tough times in my life I have made it through by the power and grace of God. Something is missing though. I have the life that a lot of people might want. Nothing elaborate just satisfying. I work, I go to school, have great friends, church family, blood family, extended family and a little bit of a social life. There is still that one part that isn't there. I want a special person for me but I am not forcing that issue. God will let my special person find me when I am ready. I think maybe it is because in all the aspects of my life, I identify with the roles I play. I am a sister, a student. But I don't know who or what I would be without these roles. I don't know how I got to this place but it feels as if I don't own my own identity. I have certain personality traits that stand out to me but I still can't clearly identify myself through all the stuff. I guess this would be a part of the personal growth challenge for me to figure out who I am. I feel like I have become complacent and mediocre compared to how I would like to be. I don't want to be flamboyant and the life of the party but if I died today I don't think anyone would really be able to say much about me. They might talk about the things I did in my roles but what about me? Who is Zenobia when the curtain closes and the roles are left on the stage? Who is the person left there when the director yells CUT! Who am I?